Are you good with change? I thought I was.
I have discovered I am less of a go with the flow person than I thought. I am glad to know this, and I am really working on this with God leading the way.
Over the last year and a half, we have experienced many new things. Our daughter got married – we finally have a son(!), we found out we were moving, daughter and her husband announced they were having a baby, we purchased a home and moved, they found out their baby had gastroschisis, the holidays, new year, grand girl was born mid March – early, God performed a miracle in all of us – especially her, son graduated with his bachelor’s degree and began working on his master’s, God blessed him with full time employment, and Retro & Redeemed seems to keep growing.
That is a lot of change in a very short period of time. I didn’t include the mundane, and things that I don’t have permission to share. We have a large family, and there is always something happening – usually happy and very exciting. I have to say I have never leaned into the Father as much as I have this last year and a half. I have never made myself so vulnerable to Him, and cried out in the same way I have in this short time past. I didn’t understand why He had me walk away from things I knew He called me to. I didn’t understand why I had to move away from my parents and my husband’s parents (not far, but not as close as we have been either). I think there are times when God knows we really need to just lean on and lean into Him. Nobody else. He knows how to make that happen in each of our lives. For me it was moving me thirty minutes away from my parents, my husband’s parents, and church family, and forty to forty five minutes from our daughter. There has not been a song mean quite so much as the song Trust In You by Lauren Daigle in many years. I didn’t know it at the time, but God dragged me out to the cornfield so I would focus on Him. Listen to Him. Trust in Him. Give everything to Him. No one else could walk me through what I went through, not the way I needed. The hard painful lessons, the loving and counting every tear lessons, the days/weeks/months/years when I sat in His presence reading His word, searching His heart. Asking for Him to reveal my ugliness, my weakness, my faults in all new ways. Shed light on all of the things I need to change, and knowing He is the only one to trust with that direction. I pray I never forget this time. I pray I never stop looking for the nastiness I need to hand over to Him, and let him brush it off, wash it away, and make it clean.
So while all of this is going on, He blesses this crazy business venture of ours. More orders than ever before, new customers happy with their purchases, and a slow build. I hope and pray it all is an honor to Him. I am abundantly blessed to be able to share something I love so dearly, and call it work. I trust Him with it all. The answered prayers, the pain, the heartaches, the joy, but most of all I trust Him with every part of me. I enjoy waking up and giving it all to God each day, and striving to give everything my best.
From this person who has never enjoyed change, the changes have been oh so good. Bringing me to my physical knees has been the greatest blessing of my life.